Slow Down

 

"I may not be able to be completely liberated from time, but resting when I've done enough, and waking up when I've slept enough... finding my own rhythm like that… it might be the liberation I need the most."

-My Liberation Notes, 2022

 

I wonder why we’re always running as if a serial killer is coming after us. What are we so scared of missing out on? We’re different humans, yet somehow it feels like we’re all on autopilot, living the same life with almost the same perspective. We are born only to go to school, have good grades, go to university, again have good grades, graduate, then get married, and work work work work, then have kids to repeat this exact process all over again… then die. Not to mention that we have to graduate as early as possible, because who wants to miss out on life after graduation?

It feels like I’ve been on autopilot for the 12 years I spent going to school. Then suddenly I turned 19 and felt like I never took a minute to catch my breath for all those years, but I just ignored that feeling. “Why am I so slow doing things?”, this thought started to eat me alive. I felt like I needed to do things faster. I felt like I must learn how to speed read, watch lectures at double speed, and finish studying one chapter in an hour maximum just to be able to survive and keep up.

Now I wonder if something was running after me. What did I need to survive from? Why the hell would I need to speed read instead of enjoying what I’m reading? It’s not like I’m going to read all the books in the world before I die anyways. Why do we feel the need to establish something before 30? We buckle down to reach something and sometimes we even work on our weekends. Why? Do we realize we might die in like… 30 seconds from now? We might die before we achieve anything at all… and that’s okay! As long as you enjoy the journey, I guess!

It’s not that big of a deal if you fail as you imagine, as long as you did your best. I might have realized this the hard way, but life really has nothing to give except new chances (and a little bit of pain). You might mess everything up, but still wake up in the morning and decide to give it another shot.

I want you to know that It’s okay to slow down. It’s okay to stop and catch your breath for a while. You don’t have to graduate before 25. You don’t have to get married before 30. You don’t have to figure life out before 40. Life will always surprise you even when you’re old and all wrinkly. Take your time with the book you’re reading even it takes months. Take your time and study that chapter in 4 hours… or more! You’re not missing out on anything. You deserve to slow down and go at your own pace, with no stress. You deserve to find your own rhythm.