Life

Oh dear, life is nothing but a challenge for your fucked up self.

A challenge to get out of the bed every morning, or to step outside your comfort zone, or maybe to love although you've been hurt before..
It's also a challenge to open up although you've been let down so many times.

Life is nothing but a challenge, darling. All you gotta do is to accept it and try your best to get up every time you fall on your knees. Giving up ain't a choice. You've been asked if you wanted to be a human, and you foolishly said yes although you might have chosen to become a bee! Who said that a life of a bee is easy anyways? Life is all about struggling. It's never meant to be easy. Humans struggle everyday, the causes might differ, but the feelings we get are the same. Why can't people understand that living in a war might be as hard as living with anxious mind in a quiet society? The heroes that reached 30, 40 and above survived life. Why can't you?

Whenever I tell someone I'm 18, they go like "aww" and make me feel like my age for a minute. I won't lie, it feels nice to feel young and to be reminded that I still have this whole life to live and make mistakes and learn from them. Five minutes later, I feel awful as I remember that I'll struggle twice as much as I feel positive. 

What makes life bearable? I think plan A would be our beloved ones, but don't we all experience loss at some point in life? There comes plan B, being grateful that you got to know awesome people during your lifetime. This might wash your sadness away and leave you with the feeling of gratitude. Can we really rely on other people though? Of course it would feel so nice to have such a person in your life, but don't you think that at some point you'll feel lonely?

Even those who are in love sometimes feel lonely. If you're a parent and you're living with your kids, you might feel lonely too. In today's world where technology takes a huge part of our lives, it's easy to feel lonely. Phones could become our best friends.. We use phones to read or watch funny videos and movies. These small things can really make our lives bearable, I think. They frequently save us from our minds, specially when you are your own enemy. Like, everybody around you believes in your abilities, but those voices in your head won’t shut up telling you that you will forever be a disappointment. Don’t we become addicted to something just to shut these voices up? It doesn’t matter if that thing was reading or cocaine. It’s pretty much the same. We’re all running away from something.

Life is definitely not a competition. A competition should be between some people who have similarities. In life, we’re all different. We’re also special, I might say. I believe that we don’t think 100% the same. That’s why nobody should ever judge another. Just because something is important to you doesn’t give you the permission to judge someone just because they’re not taking it seriously, it might not be as important to them.

I met some people who have gone through similar traumas as me, but here they are! Living their life and not letting these painful situations affect it. That’s exactly what I’ve been trying to do since childhood. It doesn’t always work. I mostly feel like I’m back to the start. But I think if I really learnt something through all of these years, it would be that I will forever try to get up every time I fall. Not that I’m a fighter or I love life, it’s just the only option. Do you see any other option? Life is a challenge and I accept challenges. I also learnt the most important lesson, which is that every time I feel lost, I can think of a way to recreate myself. Maybe that’s why I got a lot of hobbies. There is that quote that says “Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.” -George Bernard Shaw. I didn’t think much about it the first time I read it, but don’t they say that we are what we read a year ago?

The last thing I wanna say is, just in case nobody told you this, thank you for  surviving today. It’s okay whether you got out of the bed or just stayed in it watching movies or even sleeping. It’s a must to take a break from everything from time to time. Thank you for choosing to stay alive for another day. It must be a hard decision because I know how awful life can get sometimes. I might not know what you’re going through, but I surely understand how you’re feeling. I hope you have sweet dreams tonight. For just one night, I hope you sleep peacefully, no nightmares, no fears, no crying yourself to sleep. I hope you sleep like a newborn baby, not worried about a thing.